Never Forget Where You Came From

The title of this post alludes to my feeling so far being in California.  I have realized that this phrase, "never forget where you came from" has had true significance to me here.  Although people talk up California a lot and how amazing it is, I never realized how much I would miss Michigan and how out of place I would feel here.  There's just something about not seeing a Meijer, or a Kroger, that makes me miss back home.  Every time I see something that reminds me of Michigan, I can't help but feel like I'm away from home.  In many ways, I am.  In many ways, I always will be.

That being said, I have really enjoyed my time here in California.  I started work last Monday, and I can tell that I'm going to really enjoy my job.  Although right now, it's quite overwhelming and I realize I know close to nothing.  I know I'm going to have a lot of responsibility, being in charge of the very first unit in the refinery (meaning everything that comes out of my unit affects everything we make in the refinery), and I know I'm going to have to make a lot of decisions off of very little knowledge.  It will be humbling when people ask me questions and I don't know the answer, but I'm excited for the challenge and excited to be given the opportunity to succeed by being surrounded with really nice people who are willing to help.

Last Wednesday, our group did a "team building" experience and went bike riding in Napa Valley.  It was a really fun experience, getting to know other members of the team, and simply biking in the beautiful Napa Valley.  The scenery was amazing, the wine was good (Baldacci and Clos du Val), and I got paid to do it!  Over the weekend, I ended up playing basketball with one of my colleagues (who is Chinese, and is also a Christian), and he later had me over for dinner.  We had a really good conversation about what it's like being Chinese in the workplace, and what it's like being a Christian.  It gave me really good perspective on the cultural and spiritual differences that take place and how that can make working life difficult.  I was so thankful though to be able to meet with a fellow brother and also thankful that he was Chinese.

On Sunday, I ended up going to his church which is a Chinese church called Contra Costa Gospel Church. Originally I was planning on going to a different church, but it worked out well for me because Steve (my colleague) was able to introduce me to a lot of people.  I was able to meet a few of the young adults, and I will actually be going to a BBQ/pool party tomorrow for the 4th of July to hang out with them.  It was quite a blessing to meet some young adults, and to simply be at church and to worship was something I really needed.  Reflecting on all the emotions of moving and transitioning, it was one of the few times that I actually shed some tears during the worship service.

Later on Sunday, I went to sort of an AIV reunion with some older folks from AIV.  Arthur, Jenny, Steven, Enid and her husband Eric, and Michelle Liang.  It was a lot of fun; we BBQ'ed, went to a park and played home run derby, ate craw fish at Craw Daddy, and then went to play at an elementary school play structure. 

All that being said, even with all the exciting opportunities and times I've had in just a week or so in California, I can't help but miss Michigan, and feel like I'm still "not at home."  That's why I've titled this post "never forget where you came from."  There's a part of me (a large part) that will always remember Michigan as home.  I lived there for about 18 years of my life, virtually all of my friends are there, my parents are there, and it's a part of who I am.  I get the feeling that even if I live in California the rest of my life, I will always consider myself a Michigan native, no matter what.

Additionally, however, in the bigger picture the phrase "never forget where you came from" has different implications. It stems from the fact that I'll always have this unsettling feeling while I'm out here, not because necessarily I miss Michigan or I don't like living in California, but because this is not where my home is.  Philippians 3:20 says, "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ."  Ultimately I know this unsettling feeling, this feeling of longing to be back in Michigan and to be with my friends, has in some ways little to do with the fact that I actually miss Michigan.  It has more to do with the fact that I'm looking for a place where I belong, and I don't feel like I belong in California.  However, I don't really belong in Michigan either.  I belong in heaven, with Jesus Christ.

It's unsettling, in some ways very unsettling, but in a sense it's also extremely freeing.  It means that no matter how much I search for a "home" here, I'll ultimately never find it.  The only home that I have is in Christ.  And luckily, Christ has blessed me with his Spirit to give me comfort until I see him face to face.  It doesn't mean that being here isn't difficult, or that I don't miss being "home," but it does mean that I know I have a place that I belong, a place that I will one day truly call home. 

For now, I guess I'll just have to deal with being in California.