Community

I've learned some interesting things being out in California for almost a month.  It is definitely not what I expected, even though I had a similar experience last summer when I interned at Dow Corning in Midland, MI. 

California is probably one of the most talked up places when you live in Michigan.  Most people who grow up in Michigan get "bored," and say that they want to move out, go somewhere where the weather is nice and there are more things to do.  What I find interesting about that though, is that fact that almost everything that is fun to do, especially outdoors, is virtually pointless if you don't know anyone.

I'll take golf as an example.  I've been playing golf since about 2nd grade and anyone who knows me knows that golf is a pretty big part of my life.  I played in high school, I played tournaments growing up, and it's something that is a part of my identity.  Being in California is perfect for that.  Whereas Michigan only has about 5 months of quality golf weather (May-September), in California you can pretty much golf year round.  The weather doesn't change that much and it never gets cold.  But for some reason, I haven't really had any strong desire to go and play golf since I moved.  If I were in Michigan, I'd probably be playing once or even twice a week right now.

What's the difference?  Well growing up, the only time I played golf other than in high school was with my dad.  I played with my brother a little bit, but from middle school through college, I almost exclusively played with my dad.  I enjoyed playing with friends my age, but I didn't enjoy it as much as playing with my dad.  There was something about that father-son bond, something about knowing that he always understood when I wasn't playing well and always helped me have a better attitude.  Now that I'm in California, I don't have that opportunity anymore, and I might never really have that experience of playing every week during the summer with my dad again.  It makes wanting to play golf almost seem trivial, because what's the point if I don't get to go out with my dad?

That's just one personal example, but the theory can be applied to other activities too.  Take a minute and think about yourself. What are the things you really enjoy doing?  If you had 3-4 hours of free time, what would you do?  Think about all the things you could do or places you could visit if you lived in a place like California.  Now think about if you would still do those things if you didn't have anyone to do them with.  I'm guessing almost everything you came up with, you had a close friend in mind or a group of friends that you associated with that activity.  For me, the list goes something like, watching a movie, playing basketball, going somewhere to eat, and.. oh yeah.. spending time with Iris or hanging out with friends.  I can't even list 5 things that I like to do that don't involve spending time with people I care about, and 2 of those things on the list directly involve people close to me.  Simply put, the only reason we enjoy the things we enjoy is because of the people we get to enjoy them with (that's a tongue-twister).

Currently, I'm still in the process of finding a community.  I've found people that I can talk to and have a good conversation with, but haven't really made any close "friends" yet.  I'm also still looking for a church that I can call my home.  I've been to 3 different churches so far, and all of them have their strengths and weaknesses.  I've met 2 young adult groups so far as well and have been able to spend a little bit of time with each of them.  Still, I am far from that feeling of "home" here.  It's definitely a journey and a difficult one, but I still have faith that God has a plan for me.  I've learned a lot about myself already, especially my weaknesses, and I know being in California will continue to help me to rely on and trust in God even more.

So if you remember me in your prayers, just pray that I'll make some friends.