Link to sneak preview of the proposal!
Wow, I can't believe it's been almost one week since I proposed to Iris! Since many of you probably want to know (or have already asked), I figured it'd be best to write the story of the proposal on my blog. Also I think it'll be nice to have both Iris' and my perspective on the proposal, so this first part will be the proposal from my perspective and the second part will be from Iris'. Enjoy!
Iris and I had been talking about marriage since Fall of the 2011-2012 school year. During our discussions, we found that we needed to make sure everything was okay with her parents before we could go ahead with proposing or planning the wedding. We also had to work through a lot of things ourselves and talk about what it would mean for us to get married and when would be the best timing. Eventually, everyone in my family and hers was on board with us getting married, and we felt like we were ready as well! This was around the end of the school year, so maybe around March/April 2012.
Iris' parents then came to visit in April when they went to see Caleb in Indiana. They decided that they wanted to talk to me first about getting married and also give me their blessing. We met at Momo Tea and talked (just the three of us) before Iris met with us and we went out to dinner. During the talk, her mom asked me a lot of questions about why I wanted to marry Iris and her dad gave me a lot of good advice about marriage and things to think about and be careful of. It was a really good conversation and her parents assured me that they were completely on board with us getting married. They only had one request; Iris' mom wanted someone to take pictures of the proposal to have as a keepsake.
So this got me thinking; how am I supposed to get someone to take pictures of the proposal? The obvious answer was to have a friend take pictures of a proposal in Ann Arbor. I thought about the Law Quad as a potential option, but I didn't really have much time before the school year ended and most people went home for the summer. I also thought about Chapter Focus Week, somewhere with nice scenery at Cedar Campus, but it turned out that I didn't have enough money to buy the ring (at least the ring I wanted to get)...
(Quick aside: since Iris and I had already decided we were going to get married, we already talked about rings and even went to look at some rings at the mall in AA to figure out what style she liked. It was also how I was able to get her ring size, since I just directly got her ring sized by using these plastic ring sizers from Blue Nile. Blue Nile was also eventually where I bought the ring from. But just in case anyone was wondering how I knew her ring size.)
Because of the money issue, I knew I had to wait to propose, which left me two options. First, I could propose when Iris came to visit me in California. Second, I could propose when I went to visit Iris in NJ. I got around to looking online for proposal photographers in California and stumbled upon a website called The Yes Girls. I found out that there were these people who could coordinate a proposal for you as well as hire a photographer to take pictures of the proposal. It turned out to be a reasonable price, so I decided that I would go ahead with this option and plan to propose when Iris came out to visit in California. This whole time, Iris didn't know I was going to propose, but she knew it wouldn't be in AA because I couldn't get the ring. But I started planning around May to propose in July when Iris came to visit.
For the proposal, I first filled out a questionnaire that asked a lot of questions about Iris and me and what our personalities were like. They have you fill it out so they can design a custom proposal for you. I told them originally that I wanted to do the proposal in Napa at a wine tasting, but later I saw on their website a proposal on the beach, and since Iris loves the beach I figured this would be a much better option. They then came back with a couple of options for a beach proposal in San Francisco. One was setting up with a "teacher" theme and the other would be a "flowers" theme. I decided the flowers option would be much nicer, because Iris loves flowers.
So basically the plan was to have a blanket on the beach with a bunch of flowers around the blanket. There would be a flower pot and inside the pot would be a note that said I couldn't wait to grow together when we get married! Also there would be books on the blanket that Iris liked (I chose various Christian books as well as some we read together) and a bible that was bookmarked to Proverbs 31 "The Wife of Noble Character." They would also set up a small bench with champagne and glasses and hang a bunch of seed and flower packets on some string as a cute little back drop. We would arrive around 7pm, just in time for the sunset.
Once this was all planned out, I simply had to make sure we got to the beach on time and got to the setup. The photographer (Sara Field Photography) would be sitting there casually pretending to be taking pictures of the scenery and once we got there she would take pictures of us. Afterward, she would take pictures of us for about an hour.
The Day of the Proposal (July 20th, 2012):
I had planned out the entire day beforehand including the trip to the beach and told Iris about it. She had no idea what was going on because I tried to make it seem like a casual trip to San Francisco. I had also planned the rest of the weekend (Napa on Saturday, church and grocery shopping on Sunday) so she wouldn't think anything different was happening on Friday.
We went to San Francisco after an early lunch and arrived around noon. We parked in the middle of the city and took a short 30 minute walk to Fisherman's Wharf, which is a tourist-y area on the pier (specifically called Pier 39). On the way, we passed through Chinatown, which was an interesting experience. At the wharf, we just walked around, ate some seafood, and enjoyed the scenery and breeze along the ocean. Afterward, we walked back to near where we parked to an area called Union Square. There were a lot of stores and things to see in that area so again we walked around, went to some shops, and enjoyed the nice weather. It was a casual and fun time, with a lot of walking so we were both pretty tired. Around 5pm we went to dinner at a restaurant I had previously made a reservation for, called Bluestem Brasserie. The food was amazing and we were pretty much the only people there since it was so early. I wanted to eat early because I needed time to drive to the beach from the restaurant to make it there by 6:45pm.
Both of us were really tired but I insisted we still go to the beach. The whole day I knew what was coming but I didn't really feel that nervous. Iris will tell you that I seemed to casual and relaxed the whole day, which really threw her off because she didn't think anything special was going to happen. That was pretty much the plan, so it worked well =). However, once we started eating at the restaurant and especially once we left, I started getting extremely nervous. The whole time on the way from the restaurant to the beach I was getting more and more nervous, but I tried not to think about it too much. All I had to do was get to the beach, text the photographer we were there, and walk to the setup.
Once we got to the beach (Baker Beach), the view was simply amazing. I was so thrilled because the sky was clear and the view of the Golden Gate bridge, the ocean, and the mountains was stunning. However, I saw that I had a text from the photographer that I shouldn't park in a certain parking lot because it was going to close soon. Unfortunately, I was parked in that lot. Unsure of what to do, I told Iris I had to go to the bathroom first. Before that, I actually put on a jacket which was inside my trunk, which was where I had the ring hidden (the box is way too big to hide in my pocket). I thought about what to do and whether I should move my car, but I decided that it was best just to go ahead anyways. Since I knew we were in the wrong parking lot, I had to look around to see where the setup was. I knew it should be north of the parking lot, but since I was in the north parking lot, it might have been south of where I was. Luckily I looked because the setup was indeed to the south (turning left) instead of to the north (turning right).
I told Iris to walk in the other direction (instead of toward the GG bridge) so that she would see the setup. At first, she didn't understand what was going on and uttered "what is this?" I looked at her and then she realized what was happening. It was a beautiful setup just as they had described it, with the blanket, flowers, books, and champagne. We sat down, and Iris was so surprised that she couldn't stop saying "oh my gosh." I took the bible and opened up to Proverbs 31 and read the section on "The Wife of Noble Character." I then had her open the note inside the flower pot that said, "I can't wait to grow together: in friendship, in love, in Christ ... forever." I told her to stand up and then .. I got down on one knee and proposed! I was really nervous during the kneeling part and actually saying, "Will you marry me?" because seriously, who ever utters those words in their life?? It's quite nerve-wracking, but I did it and Iris said "yes!" and gave me a hug and I put the ring on her! The whole time this was happening, there were two people taking pictures of us and another taking video. We just kept looking at each other and taking in the moment, so we poured the champagne (well actually it was Arbor Mist sparkling wine) and I explained to Iris how this all happened.
Eventually we got up and then talked with the photographer and the florist (who was also the person who set up the whole proposal scene) and they gave us some time to enjoy the moment before we went ahead and took pictures on the beach and of the sunset. The photographer was really awesome and fun and she got us to do a bunch of fun poses and pictures. We even went into the water and jumped around while Iris splashed me with water. It was really fun and from the pictures we have seen so far, extremely rewarding. The scenery was simply amazing and beautiful and we couldn't have asked for anything more amazing. The ring also looked beautiful on Iris in the sun and was sparkling and shining beautifully.
After the pictures, the photographer and florist left and Iris contacted all of our close friends and family to let them know the big news. We also watched the rest of the sunset over the beach to enjoy the rest of the moment. Driving back home we both had this excitement and energy from what had just happened and were getting nonstop texts and calls from friends and family. Once we posted the news on Facebook, there was just a flood of encouragement and support from so many people. We couldn't be more thankful of everyone who thanked us and congratulated us, and we feel so blessed by the whole experience. It took a lot of planning and effort, but it was so worth it in the end to have this memory that we will cherish forever. I'm really glad I went through the time and effort (and money) to plan the proposal and have a photographer take pictures of us. In the end, all of the praise goes to God for making that day so magical and amazing, and in many ways, more perfect and more beautiful than we could have ever imagined.
Here's a link to the slideshow of the proposal our photographer made for us: Proposal Slideshow.
For Iris' perspective on the proposal, check out her blog post!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Excitement
Iris is flying into SFO tonight! I will be leaving at 10:30 PDT to pick her up. There will be plenty of updates to come as we'll be doing some fun things this weekend. Stay tuned!
Monday, July 16, 2012
Community
I've learned some interesting things being out in California for almost a month. It is definitely not what I expected, even though I had a similar experience last summer when I interned at Dow Corning in Midland, MI.
California is probably one of the most talked up places when you live in Michigan. Most people who grow up in Michigan get "bored," and say that they want to move out, go somewhere where the weather is nice and there are more things to do. What I find interesting about that though, is that fact that almost everything that is fun to do, especially outdoors, is virtually pointless if you don't know anyone.
I'll take golf as an example. I've been playing golf since about 2nd grade and anyone who knows me knows that golf is a pretty big part of my life. I played in high school, I played tournaments growing up, and it's something that is a part of my identity. Being in California is perfect for that. Whereas Michigan only has about 5 months of quality golf weather (May-September), in California you can pretty much golf year round. The weather doesn't change that much and it never gets cold. But for some reason, I haven't really had any strong desire to go and play golf since I moved. If I were in Michigan, I'd probably be playing once or even twice a week right now.
What's the difference? Well growing up, the only time I played golf other than in high school was with my dad. I played with my brother a little bit, but from middle school through college, I almost exclusively played with my dad. I enjoyed playing with friends my age, but I didn't enjoy it as much as playing with my dad. There was something about that father-son bond, something about knowing that he always understood when I wasn't playing well and always helped me have a better attitude. Now that I'm in California, I don't have that opportunity anymore, and I might never really have that experience of playing every week during the summer with my dad again. It makes wanting to play golf almost seem trivial, because what's the point if I don't get to go out with my dad?
That's just one personal example, but the theory can be applied to other activities too. Take a minute and think about yourself. What are the things you really enjoy doing? If you had 3-4 hours of free time, what would you do? Think about all the things you could do or places you could visit if you lived in a place like California. Now think about if you would still do those things if you didn't have anyone to do them with. I'm guessing almost everything you came up with, you had a close friend in mind or a group of friends that you associated with that activity. For me, the list goes something like, watching a movie, playing basketball, going somewhere to eat, and.. oh yeah.. spending time with Iris or hanging out with friends. I can't even list 5 things that I like to do that don't involve spending time with people I care about, and 2 of those things on the list directly involve people close to me. Simply put, the only reason we enjoy the things we enjoy is because of the people we get to enjoy them with (that's a tongue-twister).
Currently, I'm still in the process of finding a community. I've found people that I can talk to and have a good conversation with, but haven't really made any close "friends" yet. I'm also still looking for a church that I can call my home. I've been to 3 different churches so far, and all of them have their strengths and weaknesses. I've met 2 young adult groups so far as well and have been able to spend a little bit of time with each of them. Still, I am far from that feeling of "home" here. It's definitely a journey and a difficult one, but I still have faith that God has a plan for me. I've learned a lot about myself already, especially my weaknesses, and I know being in California will continue to help me to rely on and trust in God even more.
So if you remember me in your prayers, just pray that I'll make some friends.
California is probably one of the most talked up places when you live in Michigan. Most people who grow up in Michigan get "bored," and say that they want to move out, go somewhere where the weather is nice and there are more things to do. What I find interesting about that though, is that fact that almost everything that is fun to do, especially outdoors, is virtually pointless if you don't know anyone.
I'll take golf as an example. I've been playing golf since about 2nd grade and anyone who knows me knows that golf is a pretty big part of my life. I played in high school, I played tournaments growing up, and it's something that is a part of my identity. Being in California is perfect for that. Whereas Michigan only has about 5 months of quality golf weather (May-September), in California you can pretty much golf year round. The weather doesn't change that much and it never gets cold. But for some reason, I haven't really had any strong desire to go and play golf since I moved. If I were in Michigan, I'd probably be playing once or even twice a week right now.
What's the difference? Well growing up, the only time I played golf other than in high school was with my dad. I played with my brother a little bit, but from middle school through college, I almost exclusively played with my dad. I enjoyed playing with friends my age, but I didn't enjoy it as much as playing with my dad. There was something about that father-son bond, something about knowing that he always understood when I wasn't playing well and always helped me have a better attitude. Now that I'm in California, I don't have that opportunity anymore, and I might never really have that experience of playing every week during the summer with my dad again. It makes wanting to play golf almost seem trivial, because what's the point if I don't get to go out with my dad?
That's just one personal example, but the theory can be applied to other activities too. Take a minute and think about yourself. What are the things you really enjoy doing? If you had 3-4 hours of free time, what would you do? Think about all the things you could do or places you could visit if you lived in a place like California. Now think about if you would still do those things if you didn't have anyone to do them with. I'm guessing almost everything you came up with, you had a close friend in mind or a group of friends that you associated with that activity. For me, the list goes something like, watching a movie, playing basketball, going somewhere to eat, and.. oh yeah.. spending time with Iris or hanging out with friends. I can't even list 5 things that I like to do that don't involve spending time with people I care about, and 2 of those things on the list directly involve people close to me. Simply put, the only reason we enjoy the things we enjoy is because of the people we get to enjoy them with (that's a tongue-twister).
Currently, I'm still in the process of finding a community. I've found people that I can talk to and have a good conversation with, but haven't really made any close "friends" yet. I'm also still looking for a church that I can call my home. I've been to 3 different churches so far, and all of them have their strengths and weaknesses. I've met 2 young adult groups so far as well and have been able to spend a little bit of time with each of them. Still, I am far from that feeling of "home" here. It's definitely a journey and a difficult one, but I still have faith that God has a plan for me. I've learned a lot about myself already, especially my weaknesses, and I know being in California will continue to help me to rely on and trust in God even more.
So if you remember me in your prayers, just pray that I'll make some friends.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Never Forget Where You Came From
The title of this post alludes to my feeling so far being in California. I have realized that this phrase, "never forget where you came from" has had true significance to me here. Although people talk up California a lot and how amazing it is, I never realized how much I would miss Michigan and how out of place I would feel here. There's just something about not seeing a Meijer, or a Kroger, that makes me miss back home. Every time I see something that reminds me of Michigan, I can't help but feel like I'm away from home. In many ways, I am. In many ways, I always will be.
That being said, I have really enjoyed my time here in California. I started work last Monday, and I can tell that I'm going to really enjoy my job. Although right now, it's quite overwhelming and I realize I know close to nothing. I know I'm going to have a lot of responsibility, being in charge of the very first unit in the refinery (meaning everything that comes out of my unit affects everything we make in the refinery), and I know I'm going to have to make a lot of decisions off of very little knowledge. It will be humbling when people ask me questions and I don't know the answer, but I'm excited for the challenge and excited to be given the opportunity to succeed by being surrounded with really nice people who are willing to help.
Last Wednesday, our group did a "team building" experience and went bike riding in Napa Valley. It was a really fun experience, getting to know other members of the team, and simply biking in the beautiful Napa Valley. The scenery was amazing, the wine was good (Baldacci and Clos du Val), and I got paid to do it! Over the weekend, I ended up playing basketball with one of my colleagues (who is Chinese, and is also a Christian), and he later had me over for dinner. We had a really good conversation about what it's like being Chinese in the workplace, and what it's like being a Christian. It gave me really good perspective on the cultural and spiritual differences that take place and how that can make working life difficult. I was so thankful though to be able to meet with a fellow brother and also thankful that he was Chinese.
On Sunday, I ended up going to his church which is a Chinese church called Contra Costa Gospel Church. Originally I was planning on going to a different church, but it worked out well for me because Steve (my colleague) was able to introduce me to a lot of people. I was able to meet a few of the young adults, and I will actually be going to a BBQ/pool party tomorrow for the 4th of July to hang out with them. It was quite a blessing to meet some young adults, and to simply be at church and to worship was something I really needed. Reflecting on all the emotions of moving and transitioning, it was one of the few times that I actually shed some tears during the worship service.
Later on Sunday, I went to sort of an AIV reunion with some older folks from AIV. Arthur, Jenny, Steven, Enid and her husband Eric, and Michelle Liang. It was a lot of fun; we BBQ'ed, went to a park and played home run derby, ate craw fish at Craw Daddy, and then went to play at an elementary school play structure.
All that being said, even with all the exciting opportunities and times I've had in just a week or so in California, I can't help but miss Michigan, and feel like I'm still "not at home." That's why I've titled this post "never forget where you came from." There's a part of me (a large part) that will always remember Michigan as home. I lived there for about 18 years of my life, virtually all of my friends are there, my parents are there, and it's a part of who I am. I get the feeling that even if I live in California the rest of my life, I will always consider myself a Michigan native, no matter what.
Additionally, however, in the bigger picture the phrase "never forget where you came from" has different implications. It stems from the fact that I'll always have this unsettling feeling while I'm out here, not because necessarily I miss Michigan or I don't like living in California, but because this is not where my home is. Philippians 3:20 says, "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ." Ultimately I know this unsettling feeling, this feeling of longing to be back in Michigan and to be with my friends, has in some ways little to do with the fact that I actually miss Michigan. It has more to do with the fact that I'm looking for a place where I belong, and I don't feel like I belong in California. However, I don't really belong in Michigan either. I belong in heaven, with Jesus Christ.
It's unsettling, in some ways very unsettling, but in a sense it's also extremely freeing. It means that no matter how much I search for a "home" here, I'll ultimately never find it. The only home that I have is in Christ. And luckily, Christ has blessed me with his Spirit to give me comfort until I see him face to face. It doesn't mean that being here isn't difficult, or that I don't miss being "home," but it does mean that I know I have a place that I belong, a place that I will one day truly call home.
For now, I guess I'll just have to deal with being in California.
That being said, I have really enjoyed my time here in California. I started work last Monday, and I can tell that I'm going to really enjoy my job. Although right now, it's quite overwhelming and I realize I know close to nothing. I know I'm going to have a lot of responsibility, being in charge of the very first unit in the refinery (meaning everything that comes out of my unit affects everything we make in the refinery), and I know I'm going to have to make a lot of decisions off of very little knowledge. It will be humbling when people ask me questions and I don't know the answer, but I'm excited for the challenge and excited to be given the opportunity to succeed by being surrounded with really nice people who are willing to help.
Last Wednesday, our group did a "team building" experience and went bike riding in Napa Valley. It was a really fun experience, getting to know other members of the team, and simply biking in the beautiful Napa Valley. The scenery was amazing, the wine was good (Baldacci and Clos du Val), and I got paid to do it! Over the weekend, I ended up playing basketball with one of my colleagues (who is Chinese, and is also a Christian), and he later had me over for dinner. We had a really good conversation about what it's like being Chinese in the workplace, and what it's like being a Christian. It gave me really good perspective on the cultural and spiritual differences that take place and how that can make working life difficult. I was so thankful though to be able to meet with a fellow brother and also thankful that he was Chinese.
On Sunday, I ended up going to his church which is a Chinese church called Contra Costa Gospel Church. Originally I was planning on going to a different church, but it worked out well for me because Steve (my colleague) was able to introduce me to a lot of people. I was able to meet a few of the young adults, and I will actually be going to a BBQ/pool party tomorrow for the 4th of July to hang out with them. It was quite a blessing to meet some young adults, and to simply be at church and to worship was something I really needed. Reflecting on all the emotions of moving and transitioning, it was one of the few times that I actually shed some tears during the worship service.
Later on Sunday, I went to sort of an AIV reunion with some older folks from AIV. Arthur, Jenny, Steven, Enid and her husband Eric, and Michelle Liang. It was a lot of fun; we BBQ'ed, went to a park and played home run derby, ate craw fish at Craw Daddy, and then went to play at an elementary school play structure.
All that being said, even with all the exciting opportunities and times I've had in just a week or so in California, I can't help but miss Michigan, and feel like I'm still "not at home." That's why I've titled this post "never forget where you came from." There's a part of me (a large part) that will always remember Michigan as home. I lived there for about 18 years of my life, virtually all of my friends are there, my parents are there, and it's a part of who I am. I get the feeling that even if I live in California the rest of my life, I will always consider myself a Michigan native, no matter what.
Additionally, however, in the bigger picture the phrase "never forget where you came from" has different implications. It stems from the fact that I'll always have this unsettling feeling while I'm out here, not because necessarily I miss Michigan or I don't like living in California, but because this is not where my home is. Philippians 3:20 says, "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ." Ultimately I know this unsettling feeling, this feeling of longing to be back in Michigan and to be with my friends, has in some ways little to do with the fact that I actually miss Michigan. It has more to do with the fact that I'm looking for a place where I belong, and I don't feel like I belong in California. However, I don't really belong in Michigan either. I belong in heaven, with Jesus Christ.
It's unsettling, in some ways very unsettling, but in a sense it's also extremely freeing. It means that no matter how much I search for a "home" here, I'll ultimately never find it. The only home that I have is in Christ. And luckily, Christ has blessed me with his Spirit to give me comfort until I see him face to face. It doesn't mean that being here isn't difficult, or that I don't miss being "home," but it does mean that I know I have a place that I belong, a place that I will one day truly call home.
For now, I guess I'll just have to deal with being in California.
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